So I read this post on the internet about what romantic relationships are and how they are in the beginning… and how they are all about the butterflies and heart racing, excitement and looking into each other’s eyes and the little moments and etc. It was really nice as it explained how its contrary to what generally people say about them, so this post is my version of how things are different than what people generally say about them, at least in my case.
So they talk about having butterflies…seriously butterflies..?! I have the entire zoo inside my stomach when I am around him and not the kind of zoo we have during exams… the zoo which is happy dancing around because of all the sudden butterflies flying around it… so it’s this happy tense state which keeps getting switched on and off around him.
They talk about how your heart beats increase and heart races suddenly and I am not saying that didn’t happen to me… it did once or twice like when he expressed how he couldn’t stop thinking about me and missed me after our first date… or when I heard those words for the first time from him in his voice over the phone.. The way he put it saying he couldn’t take it anymore or wait for it to do in person and was getting restless about it so just said it over the phone. Of course all that did race my heart a little but that is not what exactly happens to my silly heart… it does some quite weird stuff like every time he says something cute or does something cute my heart skips a beat and when I say that I don’t say it metaphorically it quite literally does that and being a medical student I get low-key worried about it. It’s kind of weird it skips a beat sometimes, it does this little ‘’falling back on the chair, after standing for a long time’’ thing sometimes and sometimes melts a little… What’s funny is that I can quite distinctly tell when, which happens and all of them seem to have specific reasons behind them… like every time he calls me by some cute names or says something cute, or just plays around my heart skips a beat.. Every time his notification pops up or his name shows up on calling list it feels like falling back on the chair after standing for a long time… and every time he pulls me closer or kisses me abruptly repeatedly, looks me in eyes or just gets closer my heart gets all warmed up, starts melting and this isn’t even me being metaphoric I can actually feel that.. But above all my most favourite thing about my heart doing all these weird silly stuff is this one phenomena when all of the above happen at the same time. The time when I hear his smile or laughter over the phone… damn that’s the best thing to hear!! I don’t know what and why but every time I hear him laughing my heart literally falls back, skipping a beat with half of it just melting over. Every time I hear that its feels like falling all over again and I know it sounds too cinematic and overdramatic but somehow that’s how it is… And frankly after saying all that I am not sure if this is love… because I don’t know what’s love and what all’s happening in my life right now but I could pretty much say if this wasn’t love then ‘’ what the sound of his laughter does to me is the closest I could get… to whatever this love thing is.. If it’s not this…”
The amount of cheesy all of this sounds is to a whole new level. Somehow now all the cheesy, extra philosophical and fictional things have started to make sense to me… all those things stupid love-struck friends use to say and do and I use to judge them in background, have started hitting me and now quite literally I am turning into one of them.
They say it’s all about the eye contact… how people could spend all their time just looking into each other eyes and etc. and I do agree to it on some level because nothings more sexy than a proper eye contact but I can’t stop blushing around him, forget about making a proper eye contact. I really don’t know how he takes it, whether it kind of low key irritates him or what because all I do is look away or close my eyes and smile like a retard and I know for a fact that I need to do something about it.
I could go on and on and on and none of it would make sense to most of you out there because it hardly makes any sense to me… but somehow for the first time in forever I am letting all my guards down and live for a while and live one day at time and I know as usual all of this is going to bite me in the ass later on but for once I don’t care not because I am in love (damn I just accepted that fact) or that I trust the person enough.. Both of them are true but more importantly all this feels so right! And for once I just want to live it and live it for myself!! And be happy about it.
Picture Credit: Google